- 02 Nov, 2023
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You’re In A Hole: Overcoming The Struggle to Quit Pornography
Many of us know what it feels like to be trapped in a hole, struggling to find a way out. This feeling of being stuck parallels the challenge of overcoming pornography addiction. From one of the lessons from Module 1 in our LifeAfterPornography program, we dive into the various strategies—referred to as “shovels”—that you’ve likely used over the years to control your urges to view pornography. We’ll explore why these strategies might not have been as effective as you hoped and introduce a new perspective on the matter.
Recognizing the Shovels
Imagine all the strategies you’ve employed to curb your urge to view pornography as shovels. These shovels represent the numerous efforts you’ve made to regain control. Take a moment to list these shovels, whether it’s praying, accountability partners, internet filters, religious practices, or even lifestyle changes. You’ve likely tried a variety of approaches to address the issue. We have a link to a PDF worksheet download for your responses. Feel free to print it off and use it for this exercise. We’ve also included the video lesson to accompany this exercise below.
The Myth of the Golden Shovel
Take a moment to review all these shovels. It’s important to acknowledge that these shovels aren’t inherently bad. Many of them serve valuable purposes, such as strengthening your spirituality or discipline. However, the root issue lies in the expectation that a single “golden shovel” will miraculously solve your struggles. Your mind, always seeking solutions, may have led you to believe that if you just find the right combination of shovels, the problem will disappear.
The Continuous Search for Solutions
Have you noticed that these strategies often provide temporary relief? They might work for a few hours, days, or weeks, but eventually, you find yourself back in the same predicament. This perpetual cycle indicates that your efforts, while well-intentioned, haven’t led to a sustainable solution. The fact that you’re reading this article suggests that the existing shovels haven’t brought the lasting change you’re seeking.
DISCOVER: What’s Behind Our Urges?
When Solutions Become the Problem
Consider this: What if the strategies you’ve used to combat pornography are inadvertently perpetuating the problem? Your mind’s creative problem-solving abilities can sometimes lead you astray. While these shovels may provide short-term reprieves, they don’t address the underlying patterns driving your behavior. In essence, your attempts to fix the issue have unintentionally deepened the hole you’re trying to escape.
The Misconception of the Ultimate Solution
Perhaps you’ve hoped that one day, you’ll find a partner or get married, and your urges will magically disappear. This misconception often stems from the idea that external factors will resolve internal struggles. Likewise, believing that sheer willpower or endless distractions will eliminate the issue oversimplifies the complexity of addiction.
A New Approach: Mindfulness
Instead of grasping for more shovels, consider a different approach: mindfulness. Mindfulness involves observing your thoughts, feelings, and urges without judgment. It’s about being present in the moment, acknowledging your experiences, and letting go of the need to control them. While this might sound counterintuitive, it’s a powerful method for managing cravings and breaking free from the cycle of addiction.
TRENDING: Using Mindfulness To Overcome Pornography
Embrace Mindfulness and Self-Reflection
Your assignment for the coming week is to pay attention to your shovels—the strategies you use to control urges. Without changing your behavior, simply observe the shovels your mind suggests. Keep a daily log of these strategies. Additionally, start practicing mindfulness using apps like Stop, Breathe & Think, Calm, or the Virtual Hope Box. Mindfulness empowers you to step away from the constant search for solutions and experience the present moment without judgment.
A New Path Forward
Breaking free from the cycle of pornography addiction requires a shift in perspective. Instead of endlessly searching for the elusive golden shovel, consider embracing mindfulness and self-reflection. Recognize that the problem-solving efforts you’ve made in the past, while well-intentioned, might have perpetuated the struggle. By acknowledging this and adopting a mindfulness practice, you can pave the way for genuine change.
Overcome Your Pornography Addiction
Ready to explore a new path toward overcoming pornography addiction? Learn more about our LifeAfterPornography program. Discover how mindfulness, self-awareness, and evidence-based strategies can help you break free from the cycle and regain control of your life.
